Blind Date

It was a disastrous date 

and it ended the worst 

she knew it wouldn’t be the last 

and it wasn’t the first

she’d been on a blind date 

two times before 

and this time was the last time 

she promised no more

he was so short and she was so tall 

he mumbled a lot 

and couldn’t dance at all, 

he didn’t own deodorant 

well that’s how it seemed 

and he was definitely not 

the man of her dreams, 

he asked her to go

buy her own drink 

and that made her angry

and caused her hopes to sink

he told her all about all of his ex’s 

then he listed alphabetically 

his latest medical expenses

he mentioned his mother 

how she helped him get dressed 

how she comes into the toilet 

when he gets distressed  

he was worried for his Dad 

sitting out in the car park

his eye sights not too good

when he drives in the dark

he told he farts a lot 

when he gets nervous

and his limp made him fail 

his application 

to join the service

he has a case worker now

at the local centrelink

and his brothers in jail 

he couldn’t give up the drink

his sister is pregnant 

and lives in the garage

she slept with her cousin

and he’s now at large

he even gave his 

old nanna a mention

Because now he’s her carer 

and it gets him a pension

he looked into her eyes

and he said tell me about you

I know I talk too much as I often do

So what is it Karen

that you do for a job

She asked rather quickly 

is your first name Rob

well no its Winston he said with a cough

she said sorry mate 

now you can run off 

22/04/18 Poetry in Paradise Reg TM No. 1028534